Waiting For Christmas

It’s November and we are heading towards the end of the year which means one thing and one thing only. It’s time to get the Christmas decorations, mainly the singing Homer Simpson, down from the attic. Speaking of attic, I wish we could clear it out and convert it to another room. I would love the extra space too. I already have brilliant ideas for it. I will turn it into the genie bottle I always wanted. Why do brilliant ideas come at 3 o’clock in the morning? It never fails. That’s when I do my best work. Maybe I should start now and wake the whole house up or better yet, get them up to help. Somebody needs to help me hoist the round velvet sofa up those rickety ladder stairs. Okay, forget the attic, back to what I was saying.

I can’t wait to decorate the house for the the holidays. Sadly enough, the term Happy Holidays is used instead of Merry Christmas so as not to offend someone. The whole reason for the season is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ but it’s too offensive to use. That’s seriously messed up. I refuse to exclude him from his own party. I would do anything for love but I won’t do that. Get it? Got it? Good.

My son seems to stay a Grinch year round so I will focus on teaching my little girl what Christmas is all about. Hopefully I instilled in him some sense of tradition 10 years ago. Like some Christmas obsessed nut who celebrates in October, I went ahead and bought a Hurricane Sandy ornament that I’m going to let her put up herself. She was too small the past few years to really grasp things but last year one thing she did understand was the advent calender, the ones with a chocolate for each day leading up to Christmas Day. Last year I had bought a Playboy themed one for my partner but somehow my little angel always ended up with the candy.

Needless to say my son is a big fan as well. One year I went into my his room and all the compartments were torn open and the candies gone. It really didn’t surprise me. The boy can sniff out sweets anywhere in the house, even if it’s hidden behind some random book on the bookshelf. I really don’t know how he does it. If I had it hidden in a mattress I would come home to ripped up beds.

The best thing would be for me not to buy anything sweet. It’s not doing any of us any favors. Here comes Christmas again and I still haven’t lost the weight from the past 2. I don’t count the year before because I was pregnant. I’m going to get down to business and I hope to be lighter by New Years. To have my waistline again would be the best Christmas gift ever. I guess that’s a gift only I could get from myself. Well, I’m off. I need to go to bed before the sun comes up or I turn to dust. Ciao