I think we have all pondered this question a few times in our lives. Am I meant to be alone? Forever? For my mom’s great Aunt Belle the answer was yes. She was a spinster who lived on the outskirts of her brother’s farm. Her brother was my mom’s grandfather. He probably felt it was his duty to take care of her. I had no idea she had existed until I just happened upon her little house with a tin roof by accident. I had no idea it was there before. It was very isolated from the main house. I remember going to her still-standing house long after she had died. Come to think of it, it was really like a shack. It had a wood burning stove and ads from the 20′s and 30′s on the wall for decoration and a single bed. Everything was still there like she had just stepped out for a minute. I remember wandering through her house feeling like the intruder that I was until my brother and cousin decided to smash her windows which had me running back to the main house to tell my parents. Anyways, when I asked about the house’s former occupant, my mom told me it was her aunt’s house and that she never found anybody and nobody ever found her. Oh, the horror! I couldn’t fathom the possibility of spending my life in a little shack in the woods, devoid any sort of relationship, dependent on my brother, and if you knew my brother you would know why. Becoming a spinster with no hope of anything was one of my worst fears. As we all have been once or twice, I remember being at the height of desperation,feeling unattractive, undesirable, etc. In a bid not to end up like pitiful Aunt Belle, I went on to have disastrous relationships, one of which produced my first child. I dumped the my baby’s father because being alone seemed preferable at that point. It’s always better to be single than to be with somebody you don’t want to be with. I would just be a single mom. When you already have a child, finding someone is definitely hard. Once I had resigned myself to my lonely fate, lo and behold, there he was, my partner of 11 years. If it’s one thing I do know, just like a watched phone never rings, You find somebody when you stop looking. And then when you are taken, there is no shortage of suitors. So take my heart friends who are still looking. There is someone for everyone. I totally believe that. That’s just life I guess. Well, I’ve rambled on long enough for now but I will be back later with more ramblings. Ciao 
Forever Alone
Ok now I am married to said brother and being that close to me so I can spoil the nephew and niece wouldn’t be so bad.
Well, you have to know the person you married was a little different 25 years ago. Today, at least I have a feeling he might let me live on the edge of his property
He has grown into a much better man and yes he would take care of his sisters all of them if need be. He has been excellent to me, my kids and our family. I believe he is learning the value of family. Besides I wanna spoil my princess niece and handsome nephew
In that case I will be dropping them off next time I come to town
I will take them
But warning they will be spoiled when they see you next
I am single at the moment, never been married, and have no children of my own. I’m ‘Okay’ with it most of the time…except sometimes, like tonight…tonight it is cold and rainy outside and it sure would be nice to have someone to cuddle with. In the old days I would have been considered a ‘spinster’. My maternal grandmother was a spinster and lived my great-grandparents on a farm in Iowa until she met and married my grandfather at age 38, then had children when she was 40, 42, and 44. Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate, Shea? I do. Some people are lucky and blessed to meet theirs early on in life. My paternal grandparents were born in the same year, met as children, married at 17, lived together 70 years, and passed away in the same year. Their lives were not perfect, but they were ‘perfect’ for each other. The rest of us just have to wait for that predestined time and place when we meet…or so I like to think.
Just hope I’m not to blind to see it or pass it up when it happens. Somewhere out there is my soulmate…probably halfway around the world with my luck…wishing I was there to cuddle with tonight.
I believe there is someone out there for everyone. I’ve always wondered if everyone had a perfect soulmate and I would like to believe it. I will go into this at a later post. It seems all my life I have been looking for them but as in the love & dating department, when you are looking too hard nothing happens. Cindy, you would definitely know it if it happened and you would be so lucky to have hit life’s jackpot. Some people are just meant to be. I could name examples in my own life of people that met in high school and are married with kids.There really are some people who are meant to be single but those people are happy that way. Maybe old Aunt Belle was one of those people. I never knew her. I just drew my own conculsions that she had a pitiful existence.
Thinking about your Aunt Belle, wonder what her story was…everyone has one. My Aunt Sharon lived with my paternal Grandparents all of her life, never marrying, nor bearing children; yet, she seemed content and she sure was a blessing for them when they needed someone the most to take care of them in the end. My mother use to say I would end up like my Aunt Sharon. After my grandparents passed away, I asked her if she had ever been in love and she said “Yes”, but she wouldn’t elaborate on it and changed the subject. You never really know what a person goes through to make them like they are.
I never knew anything about her other than her having a seemingly pitiful existence. Maybe I am totally wrong. Kids tend to see things different. Why would your mom say that? Nowadays there is nothing wrong with being single with no kids. There used to be a stigma attached but that was a long time ago.
There still is some stigma attached to it; it is as if there has to be something wrong with you or you are to be pitied. I also don’t believe that it is every woman’s purpose to be married and to bear children. And some woman who did conceive, shouldn’t have, nor did they deserve to raise them.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why God allows unfit mothers to conceive. I remember when Brigitte Nielsen had her reality show and I asked who was raising them since she didn’t even live with them and you said you didn’t know but you did know it wasn’t her. That comes to mind here.
I think you’re thinking of a conversation you had with someone else, because I don’t remember ever seeing Brigitte Nielsen’s reality show. Anyways, I enjoyed getting to share a ‘spinsters’ point of view. lol
Btw, do they have a word (label) for men who never married nor fathered children? Something to think about.
It was you. I remember the conversation. I don’t know if there is a name for a male spinster. That’s what I call a double standard.
You are probably right; my mind is bad. Drugs (past), alcohol, and depression has killed a lot of my brain cells.
My Grandma O’Brien had a great memory like you. Even when she was 93 years old, she could tell me stories of her life stretching back as far as when she was only 6 years of age, in great detail, incl. what the weather was like that day.
That must have been awesome to hear her ancient stories. I hope you appreciated her. I don’t think your mind is bad.
It was, I did, and…what were we talking about again?
can’t remember