The Veil of Youth

While I was browsing online looking for fodder for my blog, you know, something interesting to talk about, I came across a plethora of interviews with faded stars. The one with Pauly Shore piqued my interest, so out of curiosity or boredom, I watched it. I guess I just wanted to waste a few hours out of my life. Pauly kind of bothered me back in the 90′s. By some unseen force from I don’t know where, he was unstoppable back then and kept making countless movies. Well, I was expecting some frizzy haired fool with an irritating voice but what I saw was a mild mannered, short-haired, middle aged man in a suit – prim and proper. No longer is he young but neither are his fans. It’s times like this that it hits me hard that I am no longer a spring chicken.

I would like to maintain the illusion that I am still in my 20′s but alas, at some point I have to stop lying to myself since I am almost 40 now. I may be aging better than a lot of people but I’ll never look like I used to. This is so depressing. It’s especially so if you are a woman. What happened to the hot, bikini-ready body, the flawless complexion, and energy that could last for days? I’m afraid it’s gone forever. I’m not saying I’m the ugliest person walking the face of the earth or anything but I have looked better. Everything seems to be headed south. I don’t have the money to pour into my looks but, if I did, I would look as youthful as Gwen Stephani who is older than me, by the way. Since I’m poor, I’ll just have to age gracefully. I know looks are not the most important thing but when you have them and they start to go, it’s very upsetting but I try not to obsess about it. I say that but I’ll probably end up looking like a waxwork dummy.

One quirk in life is that when you meet someone they stay that way in your mind’s eye forever. At least it’s that way for me. When I think of my friends, I think of them how they always will be to me – young. I can’t fathom the fact that my peers are now housewives and old queens. Somehow my brother is perpetually 15 and when I see him, I can’t believe how much older he has gotten with his hair graying more each year. This has more of an effect on me because his is my big brother and only 2 years older. I am happy to say though that my younger sister looks older than me but that’s all I will say about that. I really don’t need a phone call from her in the middle of the night.

Though aging is not a piece of cake, it does have it’s good points. It’s given me a lots of lifetime experiences and much needed wisdom. I have creases around my mouth, which I hate, but they remind me that I’ve had almost 40 years of smiles. The grey hairs are caused by the kids which I love and wouldn’t trade anything for. So at the end of the day, I would not exchange what I have now for all the tea in China. What I have now is priceless.