I am back again from my dark abyss. I quit writing my blog thinking nobody reads it, just give up. After letting it sit there untended for months on end like my abandoned farm on Farmville, my abandoned cafe´on CafeWorld, my abandoned city in CityVille…..you get the idea. I decided to pick it back up and dust it off. I’m hoping someone will just happen by and read one of my posts. Let’s make this post about persistence even in the hardest of times – about not quitting when the chips are down. So here goes….
I became a single mother in December 1998. That’s when the seriousness of life hit me. Up until then I had been footloose and fancy free, living in the not- so-real world of college. All of a sudden, there was this other being there needing to be supported. I managed to get my bachelors degree in graphic design and and then a glamorous job waiting tables. From there I managed to get (and get fired from) a series of jobs just to put food on the table. You can’t make a living being a WalMart greeter no matter what anyone tells you. No job in Shreveport, Louisiana panned out for some reason or another and I had periods of unemployment and deep depression. I was stuck there with no money, no job, wanting to go places far away but it all seemed so out of reach. Something inside just told me to keep going and reluctantly did so. However, I always found time to devote to my chosen profession, art, because I believed in it and still do.
Meanwhile, 9 long years years of struggle in a place I never fit in have gone by. I am just trying to stay alive. I am jobless once again and my depression is at an all time high with regular bouts of night terrors. My house looks like a big, ole s****y mess. My landlord wants to evict me and is threatening to call child services because of the mess. I’m sorry but I do not think dusting on top of the door frame is priority when my life has gone to hell in a handbasket but he saw things differently. Then I got an opportunity to move to Germany – actually I was backed into a corner since I had to get out of there quick. It was a no-brainer. I packed up all my stuff in a few weeks, crossed my Ts, dotted my Is, and got the hell out of that delapidated, over-priced trailer. When I arrived in Munich, I already had a job, a place to live, and a fresh start for me and my son. Everything fell into place beautifully. I believe it was God’s plan all along and that I just did not heed the warnings until I hit rock bottom. Life has changed so much for the better. I have been to Austria, Belgium, Holland, France, Italy, London and soon to Switzerland and Spain. I thank God everyday for all the blessing I have been given though I know I am totally undeserving. One of my favorite quotes comes from JK Rowling:
Good on you Shea for pulling yourself out of the mess, it sounds like you are now able to give your son the life he deserves.
very sweet – thanks
Well written, Shea! I’m impressed
God is Good!!! I luv a blog with a happy ending.
Sitting here scrolling through all your old stuff eating a quart of ice cream…cuz I’m weird like that. Just thought you might want to know. You know, just in case you haven’t figured it out for yourself already.
Can ya handle it/me? Anyways, so, do you still want to hear my UFO story?
What do you think? Of course I do. I will have another blog up shortly. Sorry for the delay. I have too many irons in the fire these days.
Alrighty then!
Give me a few days and I’ll give ya my long overdo story. Promise. I got a few things going on right now too. My mom is having surgery tomorrow morning and my Aunt Marylou is staying with us this week.
OK