It’s been brought to my attention that I am behind with the Christmas adornments this year. Its a few days past Thanksgiving and my house is unbedecked. Aint no holly no where. Forces keep aligning against me and my decorating plans. Life circumstances keep coming betwixt me and my 80′s themed tree. All my friends, especially the gay ones, are posting photos of their fabulously decorated trees. The queens love Christmas. They already have videos up of their done-up trees, dancing indoor animations and flashing outside strobe lights no doubt to the tune of I Will Survive. I gave up trying to outdo them a long time ago. You can’t beat a queen in the decorating business. You just can’t – usually.
When I asked a gay friend about this observation he told me they like Christmas because it’s so festive. Well, I told him, so is Gay Pride which he called cheap and tacky. Molly Ringwald will be crushed. Though I’ve never met her, I hear from everyone that’s ever met her how cold and hateful she is. This always makes me sad since I was a big fan growing up. Looks like she won’t be on my 80′s tree alongside Anthony Michael Hall. Anyways, As ‘festive’ as Gay Pride is, it’s not Christmas. One year in college, he bejeweled our apartment with those flimsy cardboard ‘Santa and his Reindeer’ decorations you stick on the wall and topped it off with a ton of red garland. It looked like a trailer park Christmas if I ever saw one – and I have. With fake snowflakes stuck all over the wall, you would have thought he was straight as a board. He’s not. I’ve seen recent pictures with him and his tree.
I will just do the best I can being a straight decorator. Afterall, I always felt like I was a flaming queen inside a female body. I wonder how my partner feels about that. Let’s not spoil the surprise. It’s not Christmas yet.
It had to be said