Never Ending Story

Why am I so freaking fat? My whole life it seems like I have been on a diet and no matter what I do the weight creeps right back up. It is so frustrating. I have been on every diet known to man. They all work for a short period of time but in the end I’m right back where I started. One thing that always works for me is to cut out carbs but at some point you have to have them and let’s face it, you WANT them. It started when I was a preteen. My mom took me to Nutri-System, which I admit, I needed at the time. She was ALWAYS on me about my weight, almost like should couldn’t bear the thought of having an overweight child.  People have always told me was fat, even as a size 9/10. I never could win. When I was in my 20′s, after my 1st baby, I did the food combining thing. It worked but I found it hard to stick to for too long. Then there was the Mayo Clinic diet, which has been around for eons. It consisted of meat, salad and grapefruit juice (nasty). It was good to take off some quick weight but one can only shovel in the meat for so long. A few years went by and I apparently looked really fat for someone to approached me about joining the Metabolic Research Center. I did go and lost about 20lbs and  was really happy with the results but as usual I fell off the wagon. It was rather awkward running into one of the weight loss counselors at a Chinese buffet, even more so when she’s lingering around the fried rice, my favorite. I had to wait until she sat down since I didn’t want her eying me up at the bar. I just knew she would blab to her coworkers that she had seen me at Chef Lee’s stuffing my face. It wasn’t long before I quit going altogether. So, for few years, I let myself go due to depression. My cup and everything else runneth over. Looking for a fresh start, I moved overseas. I arrived in Germany pretty well fed. About 10lbs naturally came off when I left America for Germany, probably due to the fact there are no fast food places in the town I live in – good thing. Wanting to lose more, I tried The Zone and excercise, and I was starting to look good – then comes baby #2. Luckily I didn’t gain anything but was still overweight. After reading about Kate Middleton and her mother’s success on the Dukan Diet, I tried it, with amazing results. No carbs, no veggies, no fat in the beginning. I lost 10lbs in a week but it left me fatigued and I wanted carbs so bad, I felt like buttering someone’s face. I’ve actually thought about doing it again, side effects be damned. I would have to drawn the line somewhere because poor Kate looks like she’s wasting away. I don’t wanna get that thin. I want to keep my natural curves. I’m not gonna give up, though it’s tempting. Quitters never win and winners never quit as they say.